Food Graveyard

Let us take a moment and mourn for the lost:

1-2-3 Jello¹

Jello Pudding Pops (particularly banana; also chocolate-vanilla swirl). I know Popsicle makes some now, but... there's something not quite right about them.

Duncan Hines Tiara Desserts (we have so many pans - I should start putting them to use. My favorite was the black Forest cake, with the trifecta of sweets: chocolate cake, whipped cream, and cherry pie-filling goo.

Some really tasty toaster pastries that were round and sort of similar to Pop Tarts Pastry Swirls. They came maybe five to a box. The box was white, and I could swear the manufacturer's name was Rembrandt or Van Rijn or some other Dutch Master. My favorite flavor was cherry.

Boku Fruit Drink. Came in a tall juice box. Inventive flavors, for the late 80s.

Pizzarias. Pizza-flavored tortilla chips. This from the girl who can't ordinarily stand flavored tortilla chips. Doritos? Blech.

Chilito/Chili-cheese burrito. Still at some Taco Bells, including one in Tampa that is totally worth the trip. The original is from Zantigo's a Midwestern Mexican chain that was bought by Taco Bell in the 80s. Apparently, there are still a few stores remaining in the Minneapolis area. Totally worth the trip. From Florida.

Tribbles. Little mint chocolate chip cookie nuggets

Kool-Aid Purplesaurus Rex. It's grape. It's lemonade. It's a tasty beverage.

Snackwells Yogurt. Really more like pudding. A deep chocolate, prompting the wonder whether there was any dairy in it at all.

French Chew Taffy. Found this recently at Dylan's Candy Bar - yay!

Ben & Jerry's Cool Brittania ice cream. Strawberry and vanilla swirl with chocolate-covered shortbread pieces. Second only to Bovinity Divinity, which I would order because I'd get to say the name² at the scoop shop.

New York Deli Potato Chips. These came in a purple bag with yellow writing. I swear I came across these within the past two years. Any crunchy kettle-cooked chip makes a good stand-in.

Orbitz. Better beverages through polymer chemistry! For a texture girl such as myself, I was destined to either love it or hate it. The vanilla-orange flavor was oddly appealing. To say nothing of the suspended bits of goo.

Hi-C Ecto Cooler. Sentimental value, but appealingly bright green. We³ have a can⁴ of this stuff aging in a cellar our high school French teacher's classroom closet.


1 Though this appears to be a reasonable substitute.

2 Same rationale applies for "Tiki Tots".

3 I hung out with an interesting crowd in high school.

4 Yes, a large can. Aseptic cartons are for pansies.